Boys' Daily Stresses and Ragazzi
--A Perspective from members of the YME
One of the challenges that many Ragazzi boys face as they mature is stress from keeping very busy schedules while maintaining their academic standards. Especially at the CGA, CG, and YME levels, boys' parents sometimes wonder if Ragazzi increases their boys' stress. One question the directors sometimes hear from parents is "Should my boy continue with his Ragazzi commitment given his busy schedule?" To help answer this question and others about Ragazzi's relationship to the stress in boys' lives, I asked some experienced YME guys how sticking with Ragazzi has benefitted them.
1) Have you ever been super stressed and wanted to quit Ragazzi because of it?
"Yes. But I remind myself every time of the amazing music that is unique to Ragazzi."
"I have always seen Ragazzi as a stress reliever instead of a stress adder. After a tough day at school or an exceptionally hard water-polo practice, I would always look to Ragazzi as a place for emotional release instead of an extra burden."
"Yes, multiple times. When I was younger the theory really stressed me out. Especially in high school, however, with so many tests and activities I have felt serious stress to leave because it is such a huge time commitment."
"Yes, it was because I struggled with theory. Ironic, right?"
These answers show that even though there is time committed to Ragazzi, boys find a way to stay committed.
2) So, what is it about Ragazzi that keeps you coming back?
"The music and the people. I am the only Ragazzi guy who goes to my high school, and I've made some pretty great friends that I don't want to let go of. High school music is nothing compared to the complex harmonies and rhythms that we do all the time in Ragazzi. It lets me express my full musical capabilities (not to sound cheesy)"
"The companionship and camaraderie with the other members is unequal to any other relationships that I have ever had because not only have we grown up together, but we have a common love for choral music. Also, the feeling of relief and satisfaction after finally fixing a phrase after countless hours of repetition kept me coming back for more."
Your boys' directors do as much as we can to help boys who are stressed to remain in Ragazzi. In the past, we have utilized many methods for helping boys succeed in their other activities while maintaining their commitment to Ragazzi. We have paired younger boys with older boys who have gone through stressful schedules to help them cope with it; we have given our boys excused absences if they have a huge academic commitment such as studying for finals or taking the SAT's; and we have discussed time management skills with boys. In addition, we try very diligently to schedule challenging memory assignments toward the beginning of the semester so that boys don't feel overloaded when they have to study for tests and the end of the semester.
3) What help have you received from your directors?
"Directors being understanding and reasonable has helped especially as a high school student. I have nearly zero free time during the week and 3 hours a week is actually a huge commitment. For example, in the winter I play soccer and practice doesn't end until 6 really so I try to leave early from that but I always end up late to rehearsal nearly all winter. The directors have noticed this but haven't said anything because they know once I get to rehearsal I am focused and put everything I have left into the music. Communication is key as well as working hard during rehearsal making up for any time lost."
"Directors have been relatively flexible with conflicts. I've been allowed to leave early for other rehearsals during the final week of operas, school shows, etc."
All of these guys have developed very strong senses of personal responsibility as a result of being in Ragazzi. Since they have to balance their academics and extra-curricular commitments with the Ragazzi schedule, they need to think ahead about potential conflicts and let their directors know about them.
4) Has growing up in Ragazzi helped you to develop personal responsibility?
"I wouldn't be half as responsible as I am now if I hadn't been in Ragazzi. The rehearsals enforce great rules and organizing tools that are helpful in daily life."
"Yes. I sit down to look at my rehearsal schedule every season for all of my production companies/groups. It's great training for when I have my career as a performer"
"I am most definitely gaining a greater sense of responsibility. Not only am I responsible for showing up to rehearsals and concert call times on time, but I must have my music memorized and ready to sing. Although at times it is difficult to balance my busy schedule with Ragazzi, through the skills of responsibility and organization I have found a way to do all my other activities while being committed to Ragazzi."
"Absolutely. Ragazzi has shaped me into the person I am today. It has had a huge impact on my life and changed me into a more responsible adult and given me greater common sense and ability to get things done. It has taught me to focus, behave, and work hard. The leadership roles I held in Ragazzi and just being a member have prepared me for all the leadership roles I hold today outside of Ragazzi."
If you have a boy who is stressed and questioning if he can continue to maintain the Ragazzi commitment, I hope that you take into consideration these powerful statements from experienced guys who have been through it. They all expressed a desire to quit at one point in their development, and they all share a common understanding that their choice to continue with Ragazzi has made them strong, responsible young men who are continually balancing all aspects of their lives and has allowed them to develop strong friendships here that they don't have elsewhere. We couldn't be prouder!
--Jennifer Cowgill
Joyce Keil
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