Family support for children and teens

The Importance of Family Support 

by Micaela Presti and the Palo Alto Council of PTAs

Family support refers to the ways that parents, siblings, and extended family 

show love, encouragement, and comfort to each other.  The Developmental 

Asset survey of Palo Alto youth in 2010, reveals that while younger youth 

generally experience family support, teenagers do so much less often: 89% 

of our 5th graders reported family support, 84% of our 7th graders, but only 

66% of our high school students reported the asset.  So, why the big drop 

off?  Some of it is developmental.  In achieving independence, kids don't 

think they need the support from parents as much as from friends and push 

us away. 

Clay Roberts recently came and spoke to Palo Alto community members, 

middle school teachers and parents about the developmental assets and how 

we can build them in our youth.   He spoke about the importance of "love 

languages".   To illustrate the point, he used the story of the husband who 

gives his wife an appliance for her birthday.  She was expecting jewelry.  In 

the husband's language, the appliance was a great idea because he knew she 

loved to cook.  In her language, well, she didn't find it romantic or 

thoughtful.  Robert's point was, we need to know how our partners and 

children interpret our love language. While we may think we are 

communicating support to our family members, it doesn't hurt to once in a 

while to check to see that they are actually feeling it! 

Support can be shown in many ways.  When you hug or kiss your child, and 

say "I love you," the support is pretty obvious.  Less obvious ways of 

showing support include just paying attention to them, listening to them and 

taking an interest in what they are doing.  Our teens are striving to develop 

independence from us. It is hard for parents to not be able to interact in the 

same ways with them.  Teens often want to just talk and have you listen, 

without giving any feedback or advice.  It allows them to work through the 

situation on their own. 

In their book Parenting Teens with Love and Logic, Foster Cline, M.D. and 

Jim Fay discuss the transition from parenting younger children—who 

typically require guidance and firm limits—to parenting adolescents, who 

benefit most from the freedom to make their own decisions within the 

boundaries of safe, reasonable limits. According to Cline and Fay, effective 

parenting in the teenage years requires clearly communicating expectations

and consequences while allowing youth to make their own decisions and 

"own" the results…even if their choices are not the ones that we would have 

preferred. 

One of the most important things to realize about providing family support 

to older children is that they need the love and support every bit as much as 

younger children do, even if they claim that they don't.  Although it can be 

challenging to remain connected to preteens and teenagers, the benefits of 

doing so are immense. 

The activities below offer a starting point to help build and strengthen the 

asset of family support. 

* Make family rules together, and agree on rewards for following the 

rules and consequences for breaking them. 

* Try to eat at least one meal together every day, and set aside at least 

one evening or weekend day for the family to spend together in a 

pastime that everyone enjoys or finds valuable. Make the effort to 

maintain these traditions and rituals even if your children complain 

about them when they're older. 

* Be sure to recognize your children's unique talents and encourage 

their interests, even when they don't match yours. For example, if 

they're interested in animation, check to see if there's a convention or 

film festival in your region that you can attend together. 

* Look your children in the eyes when you talk to them, and give them 

all of your attention in conversation. 

* Be empathetic about their struggles and concerns—no matter how 

silly or trivial their problems seem to you, they are significant to your 

children. 

* Praise your children for doing a good job and point out when they're 

being helpful. 

* At least once a day, try to express that you appreciate and care about 

your children. 

* Be affectionate, but respect their space; older children especially may 

be uncomfortable about displays of affection in front of non-family 

members. 

This article was adapted from Project Cornerstone and Bainbridge 

Community News. 

--
Joyce Keil

Artistic Director

Ragazzi Boys Chorus

Ragazzi December Concert Notes

CHRISTMAS CLASSICS

A Millenium of Song

 

Join Ragazzi December 3, 4, 11

See ragazzi.org for concert details

 

Program Notes                                                                              Sarah Wannamaker          

 

Biebl's (1906-2001) Ave Maria combines the traditional text with excerpts from the Angelus, a devotional book focusing on the Incarnation.  Although the texts are ancient, the musical language is modern: full, lush, modern chords enriched by the presentation of multi-voiced harmonies.  Biebl particularly exploits the texture of the piece by writing for different combinations of voices, presenting a single line of chant, a 4-part chorus, and a dual-choir conversation.

 

The chant, Of the Father's Love Begotten is a combination of medieval text and music – it is one of the oldest hymns still in use.  The fourth century text presents a tale of redemption for humankind, using the ethereal music of chant to link ancient prophecies with the Christmas story.

 

Like the Biebl, O Beata Trinitas, by Jacob Handl (1550-1591) presents a common liturgical text, this time written for double choir.  This is not an

overt Christmas carol, but a glorification of the Trinity.  This piece was written in the late Renaissance, when composers of choral music were just starting to use chords, as opposed to layered chant lines.  It's an example of the Renaissance penchant of writing for double choir.  "Cori spezzati" was popularized in Venice, where the cathedral choirs sang in alternation from opposing balconies in St. Mark's cathedral.

 

Peter Warlock (1894-1930) was an English musician and critic who reflected a full twentieth-century palette of influence: counterpoint, salon style (and saloon style), poetry, historical genres, and dance.  His music reveals his own personality of bohemian unrest, eccentricity, and sly humor (even his chosen pseudonym, "Warlock," has wry connotations).  Full harmonic color and lively syncopation characterize the Three Carols, which present three views of Christmas: a jaunty shepherd's tune, a lullaby, and a folk song.

 

Laudamus Te is an excerpt from Vivaldi's (1678-1741) setting of the Gloria - composed for the choir at a girl's orphanage in Venice.  The imitative passages, nimble scales, and intertwining melodic lines require a great deal of vocal agility to convey a light-hearted, dancing song of praise.  This Baroque piece stands in contrast with Mozart's (1756-1791) setting of the same text, also for two treble parts.  Mozart's interpretation reflects the Classical aesthetic of genteel gracefulness and courtly refinement.

 

César Franck (1822-1890) was a French organist credited with reviving a formal musical tradition in response to frivolous post-Revolution trends.  Franck's setting is for tenor, harp, cello, and organ; today's version is one of many variations on Franck's original.  The text for Panis Angelicus, penned by St. Thomas Aquinas for the Feast of Corpus Christi, conveys the mystical relationship between humanity and heaven, and is musically embodied in the sustained melodic lines and gentle accompaniment.

 

Little is known about Vierdanck (c. 1605-1646), a composer of the Dresden court, but his music demonstrates the gracefulness and flexibility of Baroque music.  Most of all, Lo, I Bring Tidings (Christmas Concerto) exemplifies the conversational style of the Baroque.  Instead of a long melodic line, small melodic gestures bounce between the two voice parts and violins.  This piece also plays with rhythm, alternating duple and triple meters.  The text is primarily sung by the Concert Group, with the Apprentices joining in to emphasize the exclamations, "Glory to God" and "Alleluia".

 

Zoltán Kodály (1882-1967) was a Hungarian musician who strove to change the way music fit into society; in 1966, he wrote "mankind will live happier when it has learned to live with music more worthily.  Whoever works to promote this end, in one way or another, has not lived in vain."  The Dance of the Shepherds reflects Kodaly's two musical crusades – first to preserve the folk music tradition and second to write truly engaging music for children.  The carol captures the unfolding of the Christmas story from the viewpoint of slightly confused shepherds who quickly join in the excitement of a journey to see the baby Jesus.

 

Pueri concinite by Johann Herbeck (1831-1877) was premiered in the Imperial Chapel in Venice on Christmas Day in 1868.  This song of praise features a tenor soloist supported by a full choir, singing a stanza from the 14th-century hymn, Resonet in laudibus.

 

The setting of O Come, All Ye Faithful, by David Willcocks (b. 1919) is a popular choral interpretation of the hymn.  This setting is now part of the core repertoire for the King's College Festival of Lessons and Carols in Cambridge, featuring both an added descant and a new harmonization.

 

Both Ave Maria and O Little Town of Bethlehem present a melody superimposed over Bach's Prelude 1 from the Well-Tempered Clavier (1722) – demonstrating the flexibility and potential of Bach's original work.  Both present a surprisingly romantic interpretation of this iconic Baroque work.

 

The carol, We Three Kings, focuses on the magi.  There is one verse reserved for each king's gift, which is a symbolic reference to larger themes of Christianity: gold symbolizes royalty, frankincense refers to worship, and myrrh foreshadows the death of Christ.  The expressive and reflective solo verses juxtaposed with the more playful and upbeat refrain reflect the duality of excitement and somberness associated with the full Christ-story.

 

Venite Adoramus is another traditional carol, mixing English text with a Latin refrain.  The lilting melody dances through another retelling of the Christmas story - celebrating the joys of Christmas - reveling in the story, family, angels, snow, and a renewed chance to bring the peace of heaven to humanity on earth.

--
Joyce Keil

Artistic Director

Ragazzi Boys Chorus

What are they THINKING when they choose those songs?

What are they THINKING?

 

Why Ragazzi directors choose the music they do

 

We seek to teach many things through our music, but the most important thing is to teach the love of music, even music that might require repeated exposure to understand and appreciate.

 

A question that emerged from Ragazzi's satisfaction survey concerned choice of repertoire.  Parents are curious why we choose what we choose.  To address this, I will explain my process for repertoire choices, which, I believe reflects the process used by Ragazzi directors. 

 

In school, we learn about the great writers of the world.  Every child at some point in his career learns about Shakespeare, but we no longer teach the great musicians of the world.  We hear that music is good training, but most of us don't pursue it as an intellectual challenge.  One path to great music - music that will stimulate us and move us - is to find great texts from great literature, verse and scripture.  So, the first decision we make is to choose music that introduces the boys to outstanding texts that reflect the rich heritage of Western music. 

 

Next, we begin to think about our groups and what their needs are.  We think about educational goals:  what vocal technique (breathing, vowel formation) will this piece address?  What level of challenge does this group need, how difficult should the music be?  What is the variety of human emotions that are being explored in the various pieces?  What musical literacy challenges are in the music (difficult intervals, harmonies, rhythms)?  What variety is offered to entertain the audience?

 

Ragazzi is dedicated to educating our young boys in the great choral works of our society.  However, we expand our focus from Western culture to include world music, popular songs and even jazz.  (Note that the vocal technique learned from Ragazzi's classical training prepares singers to sing popular music, but it doesn't work the other way around.)

 

Sometimes a concert program's repertoire is designed around a single song.  We have designed programs around collaborations with other arts organizations, such as last year's bell choir.  One year we brought in a Native American composer who went on school visits with us to draw audiences for a concert where we used puppets!  We celebrated our 15^th anniversary with a video installation at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco.  We once programmed around a literary reference, bringing in a reader for Dylan Thomas' A Child's Christmas in Wales. While we have traditionally done a Christmas theme in December, we have explored traditions of other groups at other times of the year.  In June 2009, for example, we performed a concert of Jewish music based on poetry of children imprisoned in Terezin by the Nazis, as well as Jewish sacred music.

 

If you ask the boys what their favorite music is, you might be surprised.  Last week a boy commented to me, "I don't know…  I just prefer to sing in foreign languages."  Or, "Please, can we sing the Janequin Chant des Oiseaux," (a French Renaissance chanson).  If you think they like "upbeat" music best, what about the requests I hear for Brahms's lullaby-like O Schöne Nacht?

 

As I hear rumors of more school music programs giving in to the Glee aesthetic, I am so glad that Ragazzi still values the great music of the world in all its wonderful variety.

--
Joyce Keil

Artistic Director

Ragazzi Boys Chorus